Friday, 28 December 2012


Last night, my mother decided we should go on a family trip to the cinema, as we haven't done any family activity in a while (well you could count christmas..but i'm referring to something solely between me, my mum and dad). We decided to see Skyfall, but when we drove into town, we saw that the film was booked up. So my mum then suggested that we watch Life of Pi. This I wasn't too keen on watching, but I thought that i'd humour my parents and watch it with them.

Before I start writing about it, for those that don't know about it or haven't seen it, it follows the conversation between two men, one looking for a story to write about, and one dictating his amazing, unbelievable life story to that man. Most of the film is the story being told, but there are breaks when the two men share comments about it. I had an offer a while ago to see it with some friends of mine, but I said that I wouldn't be that interested in the film. The reasons for this was that from the trailer, it didn't intrigue me that much. From the trailer, I saw that visually, nature was going to be a big part of the film. As wonderful as it looked, this just did not entice me, and I didn't get much sense of storyline from the trailer either, so over all, I wasn't particularly wanting to watch it.

However, I take it all back. It was a wonderful film. I found the natural aspect of it amazing, and the story line, well that didn't interest me that much, but it was reading in between the lines of the story that I found fascinating. I found that the film was a wonderful exploration of the human conscience, looking at emotion, beliefs and other such things. I found myself constantly judging the character throughout the start of the film; I felt that he (Pi) in his young days was foolish, mainly due to his many religious beliefs and utter trust in the gods. This seemed to have made reality an illusion to him, making him forget what nature and the world is like. After he is nearly hurt by a tiger, because he gets too close to the cage when he is feeding it, trusting the tiger to be careful when taking the meat from his hand. He is saved by his father, who then teaches him a lesson about reality, and sense. He doesn't directly attempt to discourage his son from believing, but Pi takes his fathers teachings in, and slightly loses his trust in religion. This in turn takes his fascination out of life, and everything that before fascinated him becomes a bore. This made me stop and think, as this is one of the ways that am happy about religious beliefs, when to the individual, it provides fascination about the world they would otherwise not have. I also found there was another part in the story where I found similar, but I won't reveal too much of the story. I could probably go on for hours about individual parts of the story, and what they made me think, but I'm going to keep this post relatively short.

The end of the film I found fascinating, as I could put myself in the shoes of the man looking for a story, as I before have been in a situation where I was amazed at and moved by something I can't even begin to understand. This is a wonderful feeling.

So yeah, It's not the best film about, it has slightly magical elements to it which I would say detracts from It's quality but the way it made me think turned my mind around completely. That aspect made it great.
See for yourselves!

Tuesday, 25 December 2012

Busy busy busy!

It's been a busy last couple of days for me. I meant to write a post on Monday, but didn't really get round to it so I'm writing it now before I go to bed.
It's been a festive weekend for me, first on Saturday we had an early Christmas with some members of my mother's side of the family that couldn't make it today. We first went to my grandma's house to have a drink, then went out for a pub lunch. After this, we all headed back to our house for an afternoon snack and cup of tea. This was a very enjoyable day, it was good to catch up with my cousins after not seeing them for a fair while. It really did tire me out however, as I subsequently spent about five or so hours after this sleeping!
The next day was in a similar vein to that day:
We drove to Worthing to see my dad's side of the family. When we arrived, my parents dropped me off at my cousins house while they went shopping. We Hung around there chatting and showing our guitars to each other as since we last met, we've both brought a new guitar. That was good fun. After a little while, we all went to my uncles house nearby and had drinks and snacks to eat. Once everyone had turned up there, a couple of hours later we started on the big quiz. It consisted of various different rounds, concerning subjects such as music, films...the usual. I found it fairly tricky, as most of the questions were to do with things that are way before my time, and even the things that are I didn't really get as I don't watch films much and I'm not especially into pop music! This was all good fun however. One of the rounds was great; it was a guess the film round, with a twist. The two children of my uncle (about 3-4 years old) had been filmed acting out various different moments in films, and we were supposed to figure out what film it was they were acting out a clip of. The acting was good, and the fact they had the confidence to do it was amazing, but everyone found it hillarious, as many of the scenes contained use of language that would not be at all expected of people their age, for instance: use of a cockney accent and saying the words "I'll knock the chimes out of you in a minute!". It was so funny.
Anyway, about half way through the quiz, we stopped and ordered a curry, sticking with the usual family Christmas traditions. After we'd had our meal, we opened the presents then finished the quiz. It was quite late by now. We next moved on to pudding, which by then I think everyone was getting rather tired and wanting to start off home. So after this, we hung about for a little longer then everyone left at around 12 or so. We said our goodbyes and started for home. We arrived back at about 1 in the morning, and by then, I had woken up again which was unhelpful! I eventually managed to get to sleep around 3 o'clock.

Well that's all I really have to say about the weekend, a good weekend of festive drinking with the family! And later today, we're going to roughly repeat what we did for the whole weekend!
Tiring eh?

Wednesday, 19 December 2012


I've been slacking more than usual lately. On many things; school work, sorting out christmas presents and as you may notice, blogging.
It really is a guilty pleasure, one of those things you love to do but hate yourself for allowing yourself to give in to laziness.
My recent spate of slacking, I am however quite content about; often, when bunking off work that needs to be done I spend time unwisely, by doing computer related activities such as gaming or using social media, or I just sit around doing nothing, because it feels better than doing the required task! This irritates me so much, as I haven't really gained much in terms of creativeness, learning or even enjoyment; the time simply is wasted and is lost.
Recently, I have been playing a lot more guitar in my free time, with it being almost my most favoured activity to spent free time.
This makes me happy, as to get more into playing has been a long term aim for me for a while now. To me, this makes slacking so much more acceptable!

To summarize;
>learn to play an instrument/ play the instrument you can play/ do whatever creative activity you enjoy and can do
>bunk off current tasks that need to be done
>enjoy the free time and relax in your bubble of accepted laziness

You know you want to..!

P.S. I wrote this on my phone, so give me some slack if I've made any spelling mistakes.

Sunday, 16 December 2012

Didn't really know what to write about..

A couple of days ago (this friday to be precise) I went to a local gig, held at the Royal British Legion in my town. It was done for charity, with mostly new, upcoming local artists playing. It was also a cheap event to go to, which is a common thing for local music events, which I feel is a great thing, as stops them from being something only accessible to the rich. The cheap entry fees are also understandable as they are set according to how well known the playing artists are. This does go to say that good music cannot be found; for the price of the events, often local gigs are amazing in terms of the music played. The reason that these events happen is partially also due to the artists themselves; there are many new or upcoming artists out there that have a great amount of skill personally, or combined as a band and these artists need an audience to play to, who will most likely spread the artist's music to other people they know.
The reason I decided to write about this subject is partially due to the title...but also because I find it amazing, the amount of musical talent that there is around you, which is unannounced. It makes me glad that music thrives in local communities, as well, for me it's one of the most respectable and note worthy hobbies a person can have. 

Sunday, 9 December 2012


I've had a fairly good weekend, considering how off i've been feeling this week, but then again, all things pass with time.
So yeah, it's been a fairly good weekend for me; I didn't really get much done, as per usual but mainly, but the fact it's been normal is good. On saturday I went into town and saw some friends. Among those friends I saw, I also met up with the person I wrote a shoutout about a couple of posts ago, and her friend, which is great seeing as I hadn't seen them for a long time. I later that evening I returned home and spent most of the night doing homework, which for me is a rare occurrence, seeing as i'm so easily distracted (on that note..I should really be getting on with some other work but I felt like blogging instead..). Well, that was my saturday.
Today was a lazy day a home for me. I had a good lie in till about 11 o'clock, then got up and had a shower. After this, I proceeded to play guitar till about 2, even though I knew I should start getting down to completing assigned homework and additional revision. So I eventually got down to working, and got a fair way through the work, and even managed a little bit of extra work, which i'm happy about. Still, I kept to my usual expectations, of getting distracted to the point that I completely stop work, but oh well, I still managed a little bit of revision.
However, I feel that my main achievement of this weekend is happiness. Due to recent events, i've been feeling a bit rough, and my minds been in a bit of a mess. But I feel i've made progress on that; pretty much, I feel i've started to let go of the feelings that I think have been keeping me shackled. I find this fact great, as it leaves me open once again to find the right person for me, and most importantly, I can be more content and this will pave the way to the friendship with said person eventually restarting, after the break that I caused.
This progress I feel is partially down to the few friends i've talked to about this, the ones who have made comments on the whole event and suggested what I should to repair the damages made by my error. I'm in debt to these people. So if any of you are by chance reading this; thank you ever so much!

Now I should probably return to my maths work..i'm currently working on differentiation. I despise it. Admittedly, it's a relatively new subject to me, but anyway, I have an exam containing a fair amount of this topic coming up, and well, most of it I have no clue what to do.
Do you see my concern now about how easily I am distracted?

Friday, 7 December 2012

Risks, caution and mistakes

It can sometimes irritate me when people give in to minor depression, I understand them, and know how they feel, but in the end, it gets on my nerves as I feel they are being lazy and depending on others. I find that recently this year, I'm a much more positive person, which may be due to looking after myself more. So yeah, I feel that looking after your own mental health is of great importance, hence why I can be annoyed when it seems that people are not.

Anyway, this week hasn't been the greatest due to events on Monday that were entirely my fault. I've expected it to hurt and it has, but the pain is deserving, I caused it, I will be the one to fix it.
I have been a big hypocrite though; despite what I feel is right, I haven't been proactive in picking myself up, I've let myself fall. I feel bad for it, because...well it is breaking one of my own personal rules I set for myself, which also links in to the mistake I made:

Pretty much to describe what happened, for a couple of months I've had feelings for one of my best friends, I've known them a long time (two years) and last weekend, I only just realised I had those feelings. It made me realise so much that I had thought was complete bullshit, which really wasn't a nice feeling. So anyway, I decided to ask them out, which is fine, however I carried that task out very stupidly; out of impatience (because I didn't get the chance to properly talk to them that weekend) I did it over a instant messaging service, completely out of the blue. I feel utterly stupid for doing this.

Also in my set of 'personal rules', be careful when allowing yourself to focus on one individual person - all it does is lead you lose people and be dependent on them only, despite how many friends you have. This leads you to be so weak that when you lose that person in one way or another, you think you've lost much more than you actually have lost.
I let myself do this blindly, without any real thought of caution, and so I suffer and continue to do so, through because of my own actions.
I am therefore a fool for ignoring my own rule.

So pretty much, a moral to learn from this:
When you do something along these lines - be careful; don't allow yourself to focus your efforts upon one single person. More often than not, it will be your downfall and you have nobody to blame but yourself.

I know this is quite negative post, but I wrote this rather as a moral story to take note of. Teaching others about my mistake and what to learn from it.
I don't however want to promote being overly cautious, take risks! But still balance caution and risk out well.
And also always remember this phrase, as I have shown you, it is important: patience is a virtue.

Either way, it doesn't matter, you'll learn what you need to learn at some point in your life :)

Also, another benefit of this event is that is its given me some interesting things to write about over the week!!

Monday, 3 December 2012

On a happy note..

I feel that a couple of my posts that I have recently written have been a little depressing, mainly due to the subject, not the actual content. I still would say they have been interesting, but just not all that positive. So I feel that I should write a post focusing only on happy positive things.
So I am going to write a post on my blog..about my blog.

I feel that it's coming along nicely; it's relatively new, however, I feel it's well up and running, even if it isn't at all scheduled. I think that my posts have been an interesting read, and a few people have talked about it to me, making compliments. In the end, this, does not matter anyway, as nice as it is. Because in the end, the aim of this is not a publicity stunt, to show off, but to get a sense of enjoyment out of my writing and to release my feelings and opinions to my readers.
As other friends of mine mentioned, it has also helped in situations to calm me down, and chill me out in times of stress or worry, as writing can be a great release for problems such as these.

Well, that's me done for the night, I only really intended to do a short post, to create contrast with the slightly more depressing themes i've had in the last couple of posts. I leave you now with a picture of my guitar, because it's sexy and has curves.


Feelings are a funny thing, one of those things in life that you can love and hate at the same time, that can help and hinder, and in the end, are one of the most important things about a personality.
I felt like writing this post as its relevant at the moment for me. Over the past couple of days, I've been feeling a lot more than usual; for many months now, I've been rather emotionless, not completely, its as if the emotions are still there, but they are just not touching me, not affecting me. This is a surprise to me, as last year, they seemed to affect me much more, which I would generally say is a bad thing, as it makes loneliness an easy to reach feeling.

Lonliness seems to have not reached me, because well, I would say it has been around for a while, but I have just not acknowledged it. Over the last weekend or so, it seems I have picked up on the fact that I am a little lonely, after a friend was mentioning how much loneliness was hurting them. I find it an odd thing, I would expect that I would have felt this a while ago, not now, due to being single since March.

I think It's partially due to the way that I've changed since last year, I've lost some friends, found new ones, but mainly, It's my personal changes that are most important; I feel I've become a much more reclusive person than before, a while back I was very proactive in my social life, and I still am in a way, but mainly with people I'm already good friends with, so yes, I find it harder now to make new friends than I would of in the past.
It can also make you think untrue things, and delusion yourself from your true personal thoughts, thereby possibly making you decide to do something which isn't all that clever or that could have bad reprocussions

To an extent, loneliness doesn't matter, because either you find a way to cancel it out, or you stick through it with head held high and focus upon yourself, not others, which causes loneliness in itself, but then you just ignore it, and don't pine for friendships and the latter.
You just gotta either get off your ass and do something about it (something reasonable), or just sit back deal with it. Frankly both options are hard, but that's life.

Saturday, 1 December 2012


To start the post completely off topic, today was a good day. I expected it to be quite boring, as the plans I had were cancelled, so I expected that i'd just spend the day lounging around at home, not doing much productive things at all. As I had a cold, I decided not to attend my judo club as I currently have an irritating sore throat and cold (I felt that it would be selfish to go and have the possibility of passing my illness on). So that gave me a lie in, which was nice, as I get up at 9 for this, which, in addition with a weeks worth of getting up at 7 o'clock, isn't that nice. But yeah, I had a good lie in and got up around 11-12 ish. The day from there onward went as I expected it to; relaxing, attempting to work, mostly failing. I still got some work done though (and have sunday to complete work too) so i'm not really bothered about that.
I organized to meet a friend in town, but it turned out there were two other people I know with her, and that was a nice way to get me out of the house, as i'd spent up until around 4 o'clock alone. So that was a nice way to spend a couple of hours, despite the freezing weather outside! As it turned out, that very friend who I had plans with for that day, turned out to be in town! Albeit for half an hour, but still, some time is better than none, and it also made me feel like I had accomplished something due to my previous plans, which is a nice feeling.

Anyway, to return to the topic in hand, I promised a  friend of mine that i'd do a shoutout in one of my posts, so i felt that i'd get it done and dusted. Now, before any of you get any ideas to finding out who this person is, your efforts will most likely be in vain, as you will probably only be able to know who I am talking about from the name I give them, and the picture I will include.
This person shall be named "L"
I actually have no idea what I will write about them, but I think i'm going to start by doing a brief description of how I got to know them.
As it turns out, they hung out with a group friends that I used to often see on saturdays last year, somehow I never saw them, possibly cause I didn't ever talk to them and didn't remember them. To continue the story, I met another person from that group in town and "L" was with her. "L" said that she had heard a lot about me from others, and therefore connected the name with the face! I also got to know that other friend too, as in all the time I spent with the group, I never really got to know them well, and this meeting changed it all!
As time went by, I got to know both "L" and the other friend quite a lot. I met them fairly often, and more than often, they would be together so i'd kill two birds with one stone. Well, that is the story of how I got to know "L", and give some information to my readers, this was around 9 months ago, so I can say that i've got to know them quite a bit by now!
I am very glad of this chance meeting, "L" has turned out to be one of my best friends, in this year, which has rather narrowed down the amount of friends I have, mostly now comprising of the best friends, new and old.
As time developed, I gained a fairly strong crush on "L", which passed in a couple of weeks, but still I feel that it was more significant than many others I have had in my teenage years so far. but that was a fair few months back, so it isn't really that significant now but still, I felt like mentioning it...just because.
"L" is a rather detached friend  from the network of friends I have now; quite a few of them know her or of her, but not that many either know her well, or are good friends. In this sense, I feel fairly grateful to be one of the people that "L" has made the effort with! They are a fairly special friend to me for reasons stated below:

I find them quite funny, and are a good laugh to hang out with

I get a sense that they are happy to put effort into your friendship, and are proactive about that

I find "L" different; there are many people in this world that are quite plain and average, which I don't have a problem with, but just makes the different ones more appealing

I think "L" has an interesting taste in music and are a musician (play guitar), which if you know me, counts for a lot in people

This isn't really a reason for my friendship but oh well; "L" is quite attractive and always has been for all the time i've known them

They seem to lead an interesting life, having a fairly varied group of pastimes

They are interested in body modifications such as piercings and tattoos

They can be depended upon in times of need, and are very trustworthy, which is one of the most important aspects of a friendship

I'm going to wrap this post up here, as its gone on fairly long as it is, but before I finish, i'm going to add some news about "L". They recently turned 18 a couple of weeks ago and got their first tattoo, which I have to say, I find quite impressive for a first!

For those that reviewed this at a later date, I removed the picture of their tattoo at a later date, after they asked me to do so.