Saturday 11 October 2014

Internal dialogue

"Well fuck, that's it ruined. What do I do now?" he said, in a hard, unchanging voice. In response, the other side of room replied "well ain't it fucking obvious? You change the game plan, that's nothing new to you!" "I suppose so" he sighed he replied. "Yeah, I know. I've been there before, It's tricky & a pain in the ass, but its for the best. Plus, you got out of there early, you certainly know what happens when you let obsessions take over.." he shuddered.
"Well, I suppose It's back to the start for me then. As you said, pain in the ass, but fuck it, its good experience for later works. Besides, I couldn't really see it fly anyhow, even if I was working with a fairly empty sketch.
"So what now then?"
"Who the fuck knows? Go about life as normal. Junk the old picture I started, find a new canvas to work on, and paint my life away! Besides, you know that other thing I've been working on..the self portrait..well yeah, that's pretty important to me still, so I've gotta get on with that. I need to sell it, earn myself a living!"
"That's the spirit! Last time I saw you were in this dilemma, you were so fucked up, broken even. That work, that you had put so much effort into, just..ended."
"Yeah, I was, I had spent seven months creating an overworked painting that looked terrible even in my designs, of course i'd feel shit when my attempts to fix an already ruined piece weren't working.

Thinking about it, it's great. Now I'm free to do anything. If I want I could be the next Picasso, or who knows, earn enough of cash off selling paintings, get a model girlfriend, spend my life partying!
As much as a good painting is great, I also fucking love a blank canvas. The boundaries are limitless."

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