Free verse poetry

Maybe they're normal. Or not? The stabbing wasn't, but he was mostly to blame
Either way it was the past
The crazy is still there though, definitely
Somehow loveable, despite the scars, despite the arrogance, despite the past
Outside the kings arms, they're hard to miss, with their stranger-brought JD & coke, smoking a cheap fag, a folded bike jacket in one arm

The room is messy & cluttered, nothing of particular significance
It's only temporary, it seems it always is, clothes half unpacked from boxes, draped carelessly across the few surfaces about the room
Not welcoming to stranger nor friend

Internal dialogue

"Well fuck, that's it ruined. What do I do now?" he said, in a hard, unchanging voice. In response, the other side of room replied "well ain't it fucking obvious? You change the game plan, that's nothing new to you!" "I suppose so" he sighed he replied. "Yeah, I know. I've been there before, It's tricky & a pain in the ass, but its for the best. Plus, you got out of there early, you certainly know what happens when you let obsessions take over.." he shuddered.
"Well, I suppose It's back to the start for me then. As you said, pain in the ass, but fuck it, its good experience for later works. Besides, I couldn't really see it fly anyhow, even if I was working with a fairly empty sketch.
"So what now then?"
"Who the fuck knows? Go about life as normal. Junk the old picture I started, find a new canvas to work on, and paint my life away! Besides, you know that other thing I've been working on..the self portrait..well yeah, that's pretty important to me still, so I've gotta get on with that. I need to sell it, earn myself a living!"
"That's the spirit! Last time I saw you were in this dilemma, you were so fucked up, broken even. That work, that you had put so much effort into, just..ended."
"Yeah, I was, I had spent seven months creating an overworked painting that looked terrible even in my designs, of course i'd feel shit when my attempts to fix an already ruined piece weren't working.

Thinking about it, it's great. Now I'm free to do anything. If I want I could be the next Picasso, or who knows, earn enough of cash off selling paintings, get a model girlfriend, spend my life partying!
As much as a good painting is great, I also fucking love a blank canvas. The boundaries are limitless."

Prog night!

A few weekends ago on the 28^th, I went to see Anathema in Southampton. The venue was a small (roughly 200 or so capacity) one called The Talking Heads.
I had been invited by my friend to come along with him & his parents. While I knew the band and had listened to a fair bit of their material (on his recommendation), this wasn’t a gig I’d usually think of going to myself. 

A three piece Austrian band called Mother’s Cake opened, who we only found out about a few days before the gig, when my friend saw pictures from previous tour dates. I can’t really define them in terms of genres, as they had a lot of different styles in their music, ranging from funk to prog & hard rock.

I couldn't find much of their music on the internet, so me & my friend were rather uncertain how good they would be. They honestly blew us away though, mixing funky vibes with ambient guitar and some Rage Against the Machine style rock.

Next up was Anathema they opened up fairly calmly with two songs off their latest album, before launching straight into two of their critically acclaimed songs, Untouchable, Part 1 & 2. As expected the crowd went wild. The rest of their set consisted mostly of their later, softer material, but they still played a few songs from the early 00’s, such as Closer & A Natural Disaster.
Near the end of their set, a man in the audience passed out from the heat as the room was so packed and hot. Vincent, the band’s main vocalist & second guitarist, immediately jumped off stage & helped the man out of the venue, which really was one of the those ‘the small things make all the difference’ moments.

Some of the best things their performance was the power of Lee & Vincents voices, especially with some of the beautiful harmonies they did. The strong voices added a lot more power to the overall sound.

The intimate venue also made it feel that much more special, as you connected directly with the band in a sense.

Sonically, the whole gig itself was great, as it was definitely loud (I had foolishly forgotten to bring my earplugs!), but there were no sounds that pierced your ears too much, as things such as vocals often do at gigs. There was also not a ridiculously overbearing amount of cymbal sound muddying the mix, as it often is with small venues.
I must say the audio engineers & stage technicians did a great job, as Vincent noted at the end of Anathema’s set.

At the end of the gig, I had a brief chat with Mother’s Cake and would have brought one of their CDs but didn’t have enough money with me at the time; however I did see small promotional posters for a gig I will be going to soon! I was quite happy with this, as it’s another poster to adorn my bedroom wall with. 

Anathema setlist:
1. The Lost Song, Part 1

2. The Lost Song, Part 2

3. Untouchable, Part 1

4. Untouchable, Part 2

5. Thin Air

6. Ariel

7. The Lost Song, Part 3

8. Anathema

9. The Beginning and the End

10. Universal

11. Closer

Encore:

12. Distant Satellites

13. A Natural Disaster

14. Take Shelter

15. Fragile Dreams

Next up on my gig list, is Opeth, on the 10^th of October! I'm looking forward to this very much, as they are on my 'see before I die' gig list.

2nd Week back

Today marks the end of my second week back at college. It's odd experience, some things changed but mostly the it's same place as it was a few months back.

One of the biggest noticeable changes is the first year students. Compared to last year, this years first years seem to be much younger & more immature. Then again, that may just be a natural way on looking at generations younger than you. It isn't much of concern though, as everyone does, they'll most likely grow more mature (or drop out) next year.

The college itself hasn't changed too much, the smoking area has been moved closer to the college, most likely to be able to monitor it and check if people are smoking weed (a pretty pointless idea, instead we just go up the road to the railway bridge to get high..)
My old hangout spot, the upstairs cafe has been altered very weirdly, they have scattered plant pots around the corners and put beanbags down there. While it doesn't subtract from the room, it doesn't add anything..it just looks weird now, which I support suits the place.

Personally, It's been a little strange. Seeing as the group of friends I had last year were 2nd years, they have now left, mostly for university, and I am stuck here with much less friends & people I knew.

Making new friends isn't an especially easy thing for me, but that's not at all to say its a bad thing. The fact I have to focus more on making efforts socially is a good challenge and will definitely be useful for when I go to university myself.

That's very much the story of this year; 'it'll be hard, but hopefully rewarding'. This is especially true with the education side of college, as I have a fair few long bits of coursework to do, some a bit more complicated than they need be, but as mentioned about: rewarding. As well as coursework,there will be exams to do at the end of the year, and on top of that, I hope to get a couple of songs written & recorded with my band, in time for next summer time, when we can hopefully open for some of my friends bands at some of their gigs.

I may be a little over ambitious, but if I work hard enough (that's the real question here!) I should manage it.

R.I.P.

Three weeks ago on the 22nd I had to bury my cat. She was 10 or older..the age where its been so long that you can't quite remember their age.

The previous Friday, she went out during a thunderstorm, and despite us calling her in, decided to stay out for the night. She never turned up in the morning. When I came home from visiting a friend in Bristol on Monday night, we found her outside the back door wanting to come in. She limped in through the door, and soon it was evident something wasn't right. We took her through to the kitchen and gave her a pot of milk and noticed she was bleeding. We assume a fox attacked her, but she got away.

When we arrived at the vets he checked her out and gave a diagnosis. She had fly strike, which is when flies attack a wound and lay their eggs in it. As the weather at the time was something like 30 degrees at the time, the eggs had hatched quickly, and to be blunt, she had maggots wriggling around in her ass. The vet said it was too late for anything reasonable to be done.

Watching her being put down was hard, but I just broke when my dad said something along the lines of "it'll be me next in another 10 or 20 more years". At the time, my mum was working, so as anyone would be, she was sad that she was not there at the time she died.

Dealing it wasn't easy, straight after supper on the night I went to look for her to play with her, and for about a week after I kept looking out of the windows at night, expecting her to be waiting to be let in.

To me, she was the closest thing I've ever had to a sister, and will be impossible to replace, whether it's personal attachment or not i'm not sure, however i've never found a cat that is more friendly, sociable, and relaxed than her.

R.I.P. Kitty, you will be missed.

Last minute decision

It's been far too long since I wrote in this blog, however the summer holidays are coming soon so I should start writing more often (I know, i've said that bullshit promise so many times here).

A while ago on the 12th of may, I went to a gig, partially on a whim, and partially because I changed my money about saving money.
I brought the tickets the weekend before for £12.50, which for that line-up was a pretty amazing price. Born of Osiris were headlining at the Joiners in Southampton, with After the Burial, Betraying the Martyrs and Buried in Verona as support acts.

I only knew half of the bands playing, I saw Buried in Verona last year, and I had listened to Born of Osiris on and off for the last couple of years, but they had never particularly been on my 'I have to see these bands live before I die' list. Turns out they definitely should have been on that list.

Buried in Verona opened, and like  they did not disappoint, just as they did this week. I'm not a fan of their latest album, as I just find the songwriting boring compared to their previous records. Hearing the standout songs from that album live didn't change my opinion of the songs, but I certainly enjoyed it more than I did when listening to it on album. For me their set really kicked off at the last two songs when they played some older songs.

Betraying the Martyrs played second. I had given their music a good listen prior to the gig and they played a great set. As usual with a metal gig, the pit really got moving during the second band's set. I would say they were the heaviest of the support acts, followed by Buried in Verona.

After the Burial were up next. They were fairly similar to Betraying the Martyrs, except they were a little more technical. Also to note was one of their tunings, which involved a C# 0, which is a note you'd usually find on the bottom string of a bass guitar. Add this note and a heavily distorted guitar tone together..you can imagine the results. At points where they hit that open string, I could feel the floor  literally moving like waves beneath my feet.

Last up were Born of Osiris. They opened as I expected, with 'Machine'. Their set
was surprisingly good. I was expecting them to put on a stellar performance, and they did, but I was thinking that they would be let down by a bad sound due to bad acoustics and an inferior sound engineer. They fared much better than I expected, lots of clarity for a band in that genre.
The set as a whole was really tight, despite their singer, Ronnie stumbling into the drum kit, temporarily putting the music on hold.
They only had one guitarist on stage due to their other guitarist, Jason, leaving a band a few months previous, so they used pre-recorded guitars for a lot of their rhythm, leaving Lee to play the lead guitar and solos. He absolutely nailed the solos, even on 'Follow the Signs!'

Album review: Thousands of Evils - Vildhjarta

This album is was released in 2013, but I had to do an album review for college, so I decided on this EP, as I only discovered it a few months back and keep re-listening to it.

The 24 minute EP starts with an eerie orchestral vocal piece, at the start of the first track, before launching into the epic, chaotic yet calculated song that the buildup makes you expectant of.

Thousands of Evils is Vildhjarta's second EP, following on from their first studio album, Måsstaden, in my mind, the best work they have produced to date. It is very different to Måsstaden in many ways. Judging by comments on YouTube, many seemed to dislike the mixing of the EP. I understand why they say this however I feel they’ve discovered a new sound, which sets it aside from their previous work.

The first track, “Introduction: Staos” starts off with an eerie, mysterious sounding ambient section before launching into a frenzied attack of hard hitting drums and palm muted guitars.

Längstmedån, the second track begins with their signature clean delayed guitar, before adding in a fast paced, distorted lead guitar. In the background, the clean guitar continues, giving the track an interesting ambience.

Our ears are given a short rest on the third track, Dimman as it is a mostly acoustic interlude, aside from the slightly tamed chugging towards the end of it. I like the way the clean guitars and bass mix in, as for once the bass can be heard as a separate instrument, rather than part of a mix.

The other track that is completely different to the other songs is Intermezzo, an ambient piano piece that lasts nearly two minutes. Throughout, a single drone note is constantly repeated, yet somehow, the track is not boring!

Many of the other tracks are of the same vain as Längstmedån, except there aren’t any intros to speak of.

My standout track is the last, Mist förståndet. It is the most diverse track, as it has plenty of tempo changes, and surpringly, clean vocals for the first time in the history of the band.

Over all, I would rate this EP a solid 8/10. It sounds fairly samey at times however they have somehow found themselves a fairly new sound since their last album.

Listen to the album here!:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WB40Fazwr2I